
The Distract, Relax, and Cope technique is a Dialectical Behavior therapy technique that can help you with anxiety and feelings of dissociation that many are experiencing during this stressful time.
1. Distract
Sometimes, the best way to distract yourself from painful emotions is to engage in pleasurable activities. You do not have to wait until you feel overwhelmed to try an enjoyable activity. The recommendation is to engage in something pleasurable every day, as it can help ward off depression by activating endorphins in the body.
Some examples of pleasurable activities you could try are:
- Talk to a friend on the telephone
- Text or call family
- Have a virtual hangout with friends/family
- Exercise
- Cook your favorite meal
- Cook a recipe you’ve never tried before
- Go outside and play with your pet
- Give your pet a bath
- Stretch your muscles
- Do a guided meditation
- Go out and watch the birds and other animals
- Find something funny to do, like read the Sunday comics or watch a comedy special on Netflix
- Listen to a podcast on a topic you find interesting or entertaining
- Watch a funny movie
- Collect funny video clips you can watch when you’re feeling down
- Take a nap
- Play video games
- Do a puzzle or build a Lego set
- Finally, do not hesitate to call a crisis or suicide hotline if you need to talk to someone (Dial 988)
Other things you can try to distract yourself are: Doing something for someone else can be very useful, distracting your thoughts by keeping a prayer or special saying with you, distracting with tasks and chores, or distracting by placing your hand on your belly and counting your breaths (or counting anything)
2. Relax and Soothe Yourself
Relaxation is crucial for maintaining our health and overall well-being. When you relax, your blood pressure lowers, your heart beats more slowly, and you can get out of your fight or flight response, which allows your brain to think of healthier ways to cope with your problems. A great way to relax and ground (perfect for dissociation) is to utilize the five senses. Focusing on and engaging with what you smell, see, taste, hear, or feel in the present moment can help you relax and find inner calm.
Smell
- Incense or candles
- Oil or perfume
- Baking
- Outside smells like flowers or fresh-cut grass
- Hug someone
- Use a shower or bath bomb
Sight
- Make a collage out of magazine words or pictures
- Observe nature
- Visit a virtual museum or zoo
- Look at old pictures that carry sweet memories
Hearing
- Listen to music that suits your mood or that might give your mood a boost
- Podcasts on gentle topics
- Open your window and listen to nature sounds like birds chirping, the wind moving through the trees, or raindrops hitting the ground
- A white noise machine or recordings of relaxing nature sounds before bed
- Listen to a Relaxation exercise on YouTube or your favorite app
Taste
- Enjoy your favorite meal. It is slow so that you can enjoy the taste
- Chew gum or suck on hard candy
- Drink something soothing, like hot tea or hot chocolate
- Suck on an ice cube
- Buy a ripe and juicy piece of fruit and eat it slowly
Touch
- Carry a soft material like a square of velvet in your pocket to feel when you need to
- Take a hot or cold shower and enjoy the feeling of the water falling on your skin
- Take a warm bubble bath or bath with scented oils
- Get a massage from someone you trust
- Give yourself a massage; Sometimes just rubbing your sore muscles is very pleasing
- Play with your pet
- Wear your most comfortable clothes
3. Cope
Put your “Relax and Distract” skills into practice! Pick some from these lists that work for you or come up with some new ideas of your own! Keeping your stress levels down helps regulate cortisol, which in turn supports a better-functioning immune system and promotes feelings of well-being. So, the next time you are feeling stressed, remember to distract, relax, and cope!
Claire Cotton, LPC-Intern
Supervised by: Shannon Purtell, LPC-S
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